Since the chemical pregnancy back in January 2014, we’ve had a rough go of it. Lots of ups and downs, lots of changes, losses, challenges. Not to mention a pregnancy and a new baby in there.
It’s not that we haven’t had some fun, enjoyed the kids, enjoyed each other, but J is almost ten months old and it feels like we might just be, maybe, finally seeing the light.
Some of it is the result of conscious work. We started a new daycare/preschool after a disaster that left J being monitored in the ICU overnight at all of seven months old (he was fortunately as okay as we can tell at this point, but it was (and is) still awful). Daycare is only three days a week, and during those three days, C does the drop offs and I do the pick ups. We have made purposeful effort toward increased rhythm building in our home – morning routines, afternoon routines, prayer at dinner, family walks when we can. It isn’t much different than what we’ve always done, except we are doing it with a greater goal in mind and we think about the changes that we make.
Some of it is the result of time. Two kids two and under (and now three and under) was a shift. Not bad during maternity leave and with what we call a “luggage baby” but increasingly challenging with work and daycare and big kid pressures, not to mention the luggage baby growing and moving and yearning. And that’s with an easy baby and a fairly easy big kid. But we have been figuring it out, getting more sleep when we can, and trying to utilize family for date nights whenever possible. Also, hormones are a thing and time has a way of helping them settle, though they are still bouncing from the nursing / pumping life.
We are still exhausted, still running ragged, still dealing with a messy house and messy kids and messy life, but it somehow feels like there is just a little more room to breathe, a little more room to be a couple. And for that I am grateful.