… to a lesbian conception adventure!

Posts tagged ‘daycare’

We did it!

Well folks, we survived our first work/daycare combo day.  And it wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared.

We got up this morning and C took a shower and then I took a shower while K slept (after 4:30 am feeding).  C got K dressed and then I nursed her and got things together before they headed out the door together.  I dragged my feet but finally went to work.

Which was insane.  Seriously, for a first day back, I might as well have just been there 100 years.  My day was essentially pump meeting pump lunch with meeting pump more meetings.  It is ridiculous how much has changed and how much has stayed exactly the same.

Surprisingly (and perhaps because I was so busy), I did not feel any burning urge to call daycare in the middle of the day (I did check in yesterday).  I trust my provider (who did send me a picture of K in the middle of the day) and honestly, there was no time for me to stop and make that kind of call (not to mention C called today and then left me a message with all the updates).  I was also surprised how easy it was to talk about K without become tearful (I thought it would be a lot harder).  It was nice to be around adults and bizarre to be able to focus so intently on conversations (and eating my lunch!) as my own person, separate from K.  I missed her, but today, anyway, I did not feel desperation or depression.  Just a little sad, accepting the fate that I knew was coming.

I did the pick-up this afternoon and it was great to get to my little person and say hello and breathe her in, though I am excited for the day when she is excited to see me (and not just happy to have the boobs back).  She did well at daycare (eating 10 ounces and basically letting me know that I should continue to pump an extra time each night just to have extra – she went through all the fresh I provided as well as the frozen I had given). And for the second night in a row, she had a super fantastic evening at home with us – playing on her mat and discovering her feet (and how they can be used to kick objects).  She went to bed fairly easily and C and I got to watch some television.

I am glad we have made it through day one (if day one had to happen) and I feel confident that we will keep making it.  I’m also super grateful for the good teamwork C and I have in place already that has allowed us to tag team K’s care, house care, Wonderdog care, and self-care.  With that being said, let me go prepare for tomorrow tonight so we can have another good morning 🙂

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There she goes…

Today K is at daycare while I spend my last day of maternity leave being available and getting things done that are more challenging with an 11 week old hanging around.

I was hoping that yesterday (our last day off together) would be beautiful and relaxing.  It started out that way as we went on a walk with my mother around a nearby lake.  But before I knew it, my car was making funny noises.  Then it sounded like the muffler was going to fall off.  It was an easy fix (that took a chunk of time) and we were off to the store to buy enough bottles for daycare.  At the store, I managed to bang my head – HARD – into the roof of the car.  We had lunch and came home and within a few hours I was feeling really sick.  So I ended up doing what I could to keep K calm and entertained until C came home and then spent the rest of the night feeling pretty bad.  C and I ended up staying up until the early morning, preparing for today, relaxing, and talking, so that didn’t help.

This morning, K woke up around 5 and then again around 7:30.  I nursed her (and didn’t want to let her go), cuddled her (and didn’t want to let her go), and finally put her smiling self into the carseat.  We took two cars, since C had to go to work today, and we were off.

At daycare, which is in the home of our friend’s mother and a place we have spent significant time in the past, our friend’s three year old daughter was SUPER excited to see us.  She screamed our names and shared that she knew that K was coming to daycare today.  I was super nervous and emotional and allowed C to do much of the talking while I nursed the baby one last time before handing her off.  (Did I mention I seriously considered driving past daycare and into the sunset?  And that I considered running out of the house with my baby?)  Our niece made it easier – I tried to stay extra calm not only for the baby but also for her (and laughed when she thought she was going to come with us!).  When it was time to leave, we said goodbye and I walked as quickly as I could out of that house and to my car, where I started bawling.  C was there, suggested that we maybe get away from the house and continue the conversation, and mentioned she had a present for me.

So we drove a couple blocks away and she got into my car, bringing with her a beautiful charm bracelet.  It was a wonderful surprise, full of symbolism and meaning, and I felt again so lucky and grateful to have her in my life.  She also gave me money from her father, who had given it to her so that I might get my nails done today before returning to work.  I am hoping to do that this afternoon.

It feels like 11 weeks has passed and it doesn’t, all at the same time.  I was surprised this morning how normal it felt to get out of bed with an alarm, encourage the dog to go outside, and get myself ready for the day.  Obviously, today is a little different than any other day I will be having in the near future (it will be rare that I have a day off that doesn’t involve C or K), but we still went through the routine.  Regardless, it is hard for me to transition from such a special time to such a normal time.  My life is dramatically different in so many important ways and yet I will be fully reentering a world where things have likely been fairly status quo for the majority of people around me.  A piece of my heart will be miles away, smiling, interacting, and learning about the world, and I will be busy at work, fortunately at a job I care about, but still work nonetheless.

Overall, it is okay being at home, mostly because I have so much to do and it is a good break to get it done (I’ve already been grocery shopping, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, and cooking dinner for tonight, not to mention pumping).  I do think I will be able to manage it tomorrow if I can stay busy and focused.  But if anyone asks me about my baby – which most people are bound to do – I think I might fall apart.

It feels like the end of vacation and the end of such a singularly focused time.  K has taught me so much about being in the moment and loving the moment you are in and I hope I can take that with me into the next several weeks and beyond.