Dreamed last night that I delivered a baby. The delivery was REMARKABLY easy. I thought the baby weighed 5 lbs but it turned out (when I did (incorrect) metric conversion in my head (in the dream) because the weight was in kg) that it was 3 lbs. But the baby was perfectly healthy (and LARGE for a three pound baby). In the dream, I thought to myself “that must be way the delivery was so easy” — because it was ridiculously easy, as in there’s no baby and look! there’s a baby… in about 2 seconds.
C was in the dream and was clearly excited. We both were. But at the same time, I had a disappointed, let-down feeling and thought to myself that THIS is what I had wanted so badly and that nothing will the same ever again.
Which pretty much sums up the whole conversation about should-we shouldn’t-we. We should because we want children, our living and economic environment is stable enough to support them, time doesnt go on forever. We shouldn’t because life is great right now and while something more might be wonderful, nothing will be the same ever again. And that’s kind of terrifying in its own right.