… to a lesbian conception adventure!

Posts tagged ‘opk’

Still

Waiting. CD 17. Annoyed about the best laid plans… Likely going in on (stressful) work days even though I had a three day weekend based on timing of previous cycles. RE seems unperturbed by phone, so we have not gone in, though he made it clear he is around all weekend.

This is one time when I, more than ever, would recommend charting. While I am anxious that I will miss the surge (as evidenced by my trashcan full of discarded OPKS), there has been no thermal shift and I am certain that I have not missed it yet. I also have ten months of charts that remind me just how weird my ovulation on CD 14 or 15 during the past few months actually was and that show me that I often have a temperature dip a couple days before ovulation.

Please remind me that it possible to get pregnant even when you have to go back to stressful work situations. My boss is out all this week, I will be doing her job and mine, making some really tough decisions, and hoping for the best. Over and over. I am stressed thinking about the stress and its impact on my body and a bit angry and annoyed that I can’t have better timing.

Just keep waiting, waiting, waiting…

CD 15, no +OPK, starting to go a little stir crazy.

To be fair, over my nine month charting history (seven of which have included OPKs), it has only recently been the case that my OPKs turned on or before day 15. Over last spring and into the summer, they sometimes did not turn until day 17 or, at the latest, day 19. And I do have a fairly strong history of cycle changes depending on the season.

I have had some color on a couple of them, but that seems to have faded in more recent tests (a byproduct of meds, perhaps?).

I think I will call the doctor today, see what he wants to do, get him prepped for a potential weekend of fun (which is okay with me – more time off to lay around!). Part of me wants to run right in and see him, but the one thing I do NOT want to do is jump the gun because we’re anxious. I think were early during our last try and that made the TWW much more blah than in had to be.

All I’m saying is last month, I got my positive OPK on day 13, a clear ovulation on day 14 and why-were-we-taking-a-break-again?!!?

🙂 Hope you all have a great Thursday!

Question of the Week: What if the endo says that I cannot or should not conceive?

Thank goodness she didn’t! Short answer would be that C would conceive, obviously, as we have two uteri and as much as I would like to carry, I am am more committed to our family (myself included) being healthy.

The long answer includes some devastation, I think, and is less cheerful about the silver lining.

Either way, she didn’t say that; in fact, she let me know to call her if I’m pregnant before I see her next (which is later this week).

Meanwhile, today LOOKed like a positive / close to a positive on the cheapie but was definitely a negative on the smiley face. I shared the news with C, who asked me if I would start testing earlier next month with the smiley face. I grimaced a little, because even online as a good deal, they are a full 75% more expensive than the cheap ones (remember, I make my own laundry detergent – about $3 for a year of laundry!). She reminded me that that 75% does not compare to the expense of going to the doctor and I would be using those smiley faces, thank you very much.

My temperature has not spiked yet, so I think I caught the surge at the very beginning. I expect a spike tomorrow with today being ovulation day. Like last cycle, this would be a good cycle to try. I am already eyeing up August, reminding it that its other summer friends have done JUST FINE and that it better behave as well.  I am also starting to shift August plans around possible ovulation days, meaning the headache of ttc is just getting underway.

Fade in Patterns, Smiley Faces, and Advice

I am lucky enough to have a pretty good fade-in pattern when it comes to my LH surge. That is, when I use the cheapie sticks, that second line starts out pretty faded and gets progressively darker until the magic moment. So even if I don’t get what looks like a full positive (and sometimes it is REALLY hard to tell), I often get a day of darker followed by lighter and lighter (if I keep testing).

Which made pairing up the cheap tests (40 for $10) with the smiley tests (over $20 for 20) a perfect plan.

And today I got my dark line, and today I got my smiley. On my first smiley test ever. Which was super fast (about 3 minutes) and SO INCREDIBLY EASY TO READ, if worse for the environment.

(I honestly don’t like it quite as much as line deciphering, which I find interesting. But this is still a trial month and I know line deciphering will be far FAR less interesting next month.).

As for the advice, my doctor has recommended a first in the morning testing schedule so that I can go in right away. Which is WAY easier for my schedule and matches the instructions that came with the smiley tests (which says test anytime!) but contrary to other advice out there.  That being said, a lot of the advice suggests the surge won’t be detected in your urine that early and clearly mine is. THAT being said, others suggest a false positive (which doesn’t sound likely because LH is there or it isn’t) and so I will test again tomorrow morning just in case.

What do you all think?

Mail call!

Got my “expensive” (read: digital) OPKs today. Which is the signal that there is one more test cycle before we get to the real deal. Well, that is, as soon as AF joins us, which should be tonight or tomorrow.

Hope you all have a good weekend!

Temperature dropped like it should be right around now. Good signs all around, since this is theoretically the second-to-last cycle before all systems are go. Not a picture perfect chart, but lower to higher to lower temperatures make for a happy me! It’s nice to finally be a little less anxious about what the thermometer will read now that it’s not bouncing all over the place.

(Which is silly because I won’t be really using my temps all that much anyway except as a control-freak way to affirm to myself that I did indeed ovulate around the time I was supposed to on the cycle we actually try)

Ordered some nice OPKs online to go with the cheap ones. Will use this next cycle as a final practice before The Real Deal (TM).

In other news, the stress of all the part time work and full time work and life in between is getting to both of us. We definitely need a break and I’m glad to have some short and long trips planned this summer, especially because we usually work right on through June, July, and August.

Time, which was moving so quickly in April and May does seem to have slowed down a little. I’m okay with that except during my working hours… even though I usually love my job, I’d be fine with those speeding on by!

Question of the Week: What If I’m Not Ready for this After All?

(Full question is: What if I’m not ready for this after all and am just “playing mom” the way some people play house?)

(Also, so many annoying FF things to write about… but so little time due to the PT job, the FT job and all the little things in between)

ANYWAY!

What if I’m not ready? Probably the question that is the bane of most couples who have to consciously attempt to conceive. Because who really is totally ready for their lives, their health, and their relationship to their significant other (if applicable) and their families to change “just like that?” Especially when, like it or not, there is either implicit (or explicit) pressure to do just that or, in the case of some families, pressure to avoid just that?

Some days I’m 100% sure I am ready. Qualities of C, things that happen in our relationship, an inside feeling that I cannot define… they tell me I am. Also playing with our niece. Also most holidays and special “traditional” times. Times with family. Times I want to have a family of our own.

And other times, I am terrified of all the changes that will come, all the ways everything I know will be no more. And I think it is those times more than anything else that lead to this question (and it’s sister question, “What If I’m Not GOOD at Parenting?”) And all the other questions: now or later? Are we in a good place now? And on and on and on?

When this question really gets me down, though, I go back to our original benchmark question when deciding whether to ttc which was: if we did not have to ttc, if we could just “be together” and get pregnant, would we be using birth control at this point in our relationship? The answer is decidedly no and we are in a place to make the extra effort to ttc. And so we will.

We’re about 8 or 9 weeks from our first cycle, depending on blood work results and if my cheap OPKs ever show anything this month (they are, gradual fade in, but it’s later than usual, which makes sense since my summer cycles are always longer, but doesn’t make sense if you go by FF who says based on temperatures (that were probably highly influenced by high room temps and related lack of sleep) I O’d much earlier than EVER around CD 8 or 9). Ridiculous.