… to a lesbian conception adventure!

Posts tagged ‘rant’

Medicalization + Conception = ?

One of the thing that frustrates me the most about the medicalization of conception is that every doctor does it differently. That is, ask three doctors how they handle a problem or how long frozen sperm lives in the uterus or whether temping is useful and you will get three different answers. I’m all for individualized medical treatment but the answers would vary just as widely if asking in reference to the same exact woman.

I realize that ART is relatively new compared to the whole history of medicine and I realize that there is trial and error and learning to be done, but man oh man do I wish I could 100% firmly rely on things I hear or read. It just seems like so much guesswork and so much luck and I am always surprised when I ask Dr.Google a question only to get fifteen pages with fifteen different answers in response.

(in other news, I’m not asking too many questions these days, just trying to be patient. FF decided that I did in fact ovulate on the day of the insemination and all other signs lined up so I am feeling pessimistically hopeful… or full of low expectations and high hopes… or wondering if I will be looking at sunny days or silver linings)



Substitute thermometer fell on floor in middle of night. Substitute thermometer did Not beep when I pushed the button this am. Despite whacking it on a radiator (my father’s solution for all manner of broken electronic), which turned the temp to Celsius, substitute thermometer no longer functions.

It’s ok, I wasn’t looking forward to this morning just so I could temp or anything. And I love the idea of my first “real” chart having three thermometers represented.

Question of the week: Really, thermometer, REALLY?

(Okay, so this not really a question of the week at all, more a statement of minor angst)

So the past few mornings, my temperature has been higher than I would have expected. Whatever, temperatures are weird like that.

This morning, at 6:45 am, I used my trusty thermometer and it read 97.45. For me, that is a fairly high morning temperature in the follicular phase. Cue a bit of panic as I think of all the bad things that could prevent us from going through with the big plan.

I go back to bed (after going up and down steps) and about half an hour later, just for fun, check my temperature again. 97.33. That doesn’t make sense. Check it again right after. 97.18. Check it again after that. 96.80. Really?

So I reach in my drawer and pull out a second thermometer (thanks to us thinking that C might temp simultaneously just to see what her charts looked like… not so much). 97.18. Temp again. 97.18.

So I’m thinking my trusty thermometer, after six months of daily use, may not be so trusty anymore. What was really interesting is that the temps it shows seem to be standard temps for me at different points in my cycle, leading me to wonder how long this thing has NOT been accurate.

I will pick up with thermometer number 2 starting today, the one downside being that that thermometer has always shown slightly higher readings (even when my thermometer WAS working) so it will shift the chart a bit. Oh well.

(I realize that was a LOT of ranting about a thermometer, but COME ON months of working and then the month we are to try, unclear data… great!)


ETA: It was sitting here, so I took my temp again at 9 am and it read 97.18. I swear, it’s a Magic 8 Ball Thermometer that spits out one of six temperatures depending on how it’s feeling.

Why is FF never my friend?

Compared to past months, my chart this month is GORGEOUS. In terms of fairly steady temperatures throughout and a sense that this part of the month is lower.

Tuesday, I had a significantly higher temperature than usual. I also woke up with a sinus headache that last for much of the day and while I did not have a full-on fever, would not be surprised if something was going on. FF told me that I must have ovulated on CD 9, which is extraordinarily early for me in any situation.

My temps dropped again on Wednesday and FF couldn’t decide whether I ovulated or not. They rose again today SLIGHTLY (by .3 degrees, which is still in the realm of slight for my overall chart and within the range of temps earlier in the month) and FF decided I did in fact ovulate on Day 10.

What I hate is that FF talks constantly about not dropping temps and not considering one high temp the one true sign that something has occurred but month after month, when FF sees one out-of-range temp, even when it’s followed by several lower temps that do not indicate the kind of rise you would normally see in a biphasic pattern, it decides tentatively that I ovulated. I also hate that it told me not to start peeing on sticks until yesterday, so I waited even though if I DID ovulate, it was several days ago (when I got the sticks but decided to wait).

I realize I don’t have the whole cycle charted yet and I’m mostly just bitching, but c’mon FF, don’t make me feel like I failed to notice something when it doesn’t match up with any of my signs just because of one high temperature. K thanks.

Doctors who sell themselves…

So I have pretty much confirmed in every way that our RE is WAAAY too expensive. As in, some of you generously shared information about the cost of your own doctors and our RE is WAY WAY WAY more than that… like for the cost of one cycle with him, we could get one and a half or two cycles with someone else. EXPENSIVE.

But damn, I love his office. I was referred to an endo for some follow up and when I was talking to my RE, he asked which doctor / which office and then reminded me to give him the fax number for the endo when I got it. Then I got sick and two weeks later I called to give the fax number. Within ONE HOUR, they called back to say ┬áthat they went to fax it and realized that he had already faxed it – as in gotten the number and went ahead and sent it – THE DAY AFTER I TALKED TO HIM TWO WEEKS AGO.

Then I asked for my lab records to be sent to me – (1) because I paid an arm an a leg for that blood to get looked at, (2) because I like to have records, and (3) because I REALLY want records if we end up switching doctors. ┬áDespite the fact that we have not received a bill from his office and that we have not paid him a dime (though we owe quite a bit), I had the lab results THE NEXT DAY.

Now maybe the massive local fertility factory is that nearby is just as quick and responsive, but a big part of me (who has worked with so many other doctors offices in the past) seriously doubts it. C says it’s because he has so few clients… which he could afford based on what he charges.

Anyway, I went from we’re sticking with him to I want someone new (and cheaper) to geez-I-really-love-this-guy. I logically am still unable to justify the extra cost – c’mon, REALLY? But emotionally I am caught!

(Also, the man had a note on my lab results from when he called me to talk about the one hormonal issue… and he spelled my name right, which is really not the biggest deal ever, but it was my NAME spelled CORRECTLY and I wasn’t just “the patient” or whatever)


Wasted cycle

Yes, we’re only charting and not trying, but when I’m waking up every single day and shoving a thermometer in my mouth, I want some kind of results.

Unfortunately, right around potential ovulation day, I got REALLY REALLY sick and had a fever. Which means the temps following POD are artificially high (and not counted by FF, which drops any fever temps for good reason). Which means there is no way to know if my temp would have stayed low or would have jumped up.

This is only my second full cycle of charting but I was hoping I would see some kind of magical pattern when comparing it to the first cycle. I’ve already discussed how my temps are probably destroyed by my room temperature, but even just seeing a biphasic pattern would have been nice. I have one now, but I’ve been sick for almost a week, so I don’t trust it at all.

Who has it checked out?!!?

Where is the magical guide for the path to lesbian parenthood?

I just need a book and then I can look at pros / cons / costs and make a decision. If you have that book and can lend it to me, that would be awesome.

Really I am READY TO GO and have NO IDEA where to begin. We’ve decided not to try at home (I think that bickering* over how to thaw the little guys would probably not be good karma for baby making) but I can’t figure out who is the next best person to talk to to get this show on the road. Ideas? Please? (Because the internet is always the best place to go to get direction on major medical / potentially life altering decisions).

Or send me the book!


* Bickering = the mild, I-know-better-even-though-I-know-no-more-than-you back and forth rather than some kind of subtle sign that we should avoid parenthood at all costs, I swear!