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Posts tagged ‘third trimester’

Still waiting :)

Made it through another full week of work with no appearance of the Cub.

Really, outside of the awesomeness of meeting this little person, there really isn’t a compelling reason I’m begging for an appearance just yet – except for the fact that I would prefer not to go to work on Monday.  Having had occasional (likely gas) pains the past few days, I’m also a little anxious to know what the start of labor will feel like.  And it’s weird to wonder with every twinge and movement – “is this the beginning of something?”  Poor Dr. G.oo.gle has gotten lots of questions about back pain and labor or twinges and labor or decreased/increased fetal movement and labor.  It’s become a bit of a pastime for me when I’m not doing other things.

I’ve gained more weight this week and the midwife – the only one who ever comments on my weight – noted when I said that I honestly don’t know where it’s coming from (I don’t – I’m not eating significantly more, I’ve been walking around and moving, etc.) “Well, you’re not gonna push out a 45 pound baby.”  Thanks. I realize that.  And I don’t need you contributing to any body image issues I’ll have after the Cub is born (I’m hoping they won’t be many, as I’ve loved and continue to love my body through pregnancy, but non-pregnant belly is a lot different than pregnant belly).  C has always loved my body regardless of shape, but I’ve already “placed an order” for additional affirmation about my body post-baby because I hate to be one of those women who is asking “what do you think of my body?!” but I also am going to need to hear the “you’re body is awesome!”

You know, maybe if I make more plans, the Cub will decide it’s time to interrupt them!  So this weekend, I plan to do the following:

  • Put at least SOME things in our hospital bag (yeah, yeah, it’s not packed at all yet)
  • Clean the office AGAIN
  • Hang one of the wall hangings and a couple shelves in the nursery
  • Put away clean laundry
  • Purchase more for-when-after-the-baby-is-here food.
  • Add movies / shows to queue for watching during maternity leave
  • Dream about the late summer / fall with the Cub: festivals, holidays, pumpkins, gatherings, pretty leafy walks 🙂




39 Weeks!

One week left! Or two days! Or 21 days!  Who knows?

Pregnancy signs this week have been mostly the same old, same old.  Some swelling (though less with tons of walking, oddly enough), lots of wiggly-moving-stretchy-baby, some minor heartburn.  BH contractions seem to have increased and some have a mildly uncomfortable element to them.  I’ve also had some mild cramping that leaves me thinking “is this the start?” but it never seems to be.  It seems to me that the baby has dropped (I can’t see my belly button in my bathroom mirror any more) but I can’t say I’m have significantly more discomfort than I was prior to the “dropping” and so I’m not sure if it’s actually occurred and I’m lucky or if it has not occurred at all.

We enjoyed ourselves this past weekend making last minute baby purchases, spending time at a festival, and enjoying our together alone time in significantly cooler weather than what we’ve been facing the last several weeks.  We were probably hoping it was a last hurrah though it’s likely it was a second-to-last (third-to-last?) hurrah!  I guess we’ll see 🙂

Meanwhile, everyone else is getting antsy and excited and ready to hear the good news any day now.  Parents are reminding us of where they can be reached in case there needs to be a sudden check-in, siblings are sharing their enthusiasm, and coworkers are constantly surprised by my presence at work (“You’re still here!?” they say in surprise and wonder).  Mostly everyone thinks I’ll go soon, but I think that is mostly wishful thinking / surprise at my size.  We’ve dodged many birthdays of friends and family and I kind of hope to keep dodging them – I like the idea of the Cub’s own day (though some folks like the idea of sharing their day with the Cub).

I keep wondering what labor will be like, what it will feel like, and how I’ll handle it.  It’s so hard to know until you’ve been there and while so many women so willingly share their stories, no two stories are alike and no one can share all the feelings, emotions, etc. that they experienced.  I am hoping to be a trooper and work with the pain and the baby and have as calm a birth as possible but I’m also very aware that that might not be possible.  So we wait and see.

The only other thing going on is that we are working – document by document – on second parent adoption.  I feel strongly that I should have just videotaped C trying to make dinners during the first trimester. Or her support TTC. Or the love and care that she will be showing our baby from the moment of birth.  And that that should be sufficient.  But apparently it won’t be and we need to prove ourselves in every conceivable way – financially, with family support letters, etc. etc.  That being said, the adoption day will provide us with an opportunity to celebrate (even if it changes little about our interpersonal relationship with the Cub) and who doesn’t like celebrating?  Maybe we can have cake!

Hope you all are having a good week!

On Deck

I know several women who are/were due around the same time as me.  One had her baby last week at 37 weeks, one had her baby today just past 40 weeks, and two with whom I work are due shortly after I am (and as far as I know have not had their babies yet).

Now that two babies have been born (and the only one due before mine was born), I officially feel “on deck” to have this baby.  And I am getting anxious.  Not anxious scared, but anxious excited. Anxious-ready-to-be-done-with-work. Anxious-wondering-what-it-will-be-like-when-it-begins.  I am still fine with the pregnancy overall (still sleeping okay, still moving around okay, still feeling okay, so really for me it’s just waiting and being ready. At all times.

C is also ready, though she keeps finding little things that need to be done prior to the Cub arriving and when I share my readiness, she reminds me of some of the little things that would be nice to have done.  But at this point, with pretty much everything in place, it’s hard for me not to think of it the way I thought of TTC in the first place – you’re never gonna be all the way ready, so get yourself as prepared as you can and go for it.

One thing that keeps striking me, in terms of “being ready” is that while this feels like planning a wedding or a vacation, there is not a clear start and end and we do not need to have everything 100% ready to go.  It’s not like baby will be born and suddenly we won’t have access to all of the items we might need, housed in 24 hour big box stores.  We want to be ready, but we don’t need to be so prepared that we have left nothing out – and even if we felt that way, we still wouldn’t be 100% prepared.

So anyway, I’m on deck.  Ready to go (especially ready to leave work for my “vacation”) but prepared that we could have another 20+ days.  In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the perks of almost motherhood, including people asking me in parking lots how far along I am and expressing surprise (because I’m out and about? because it’s so close?) when I note that I’m due in about a week.

38 + 2

Since I can’t seem to find time to post (and my office where my computer is is SUPER hot most days – today is a rare reprieve!)

So I’m 38 weeks, 2 days pregnant and I can’t complain… too much.  While I”m excited to meet the baby (and even more excited for a reprieve from work!), I really don’t feel overly rushed at this point to omghavethebabyrightnow.  I am still sleeping okay, still doing okay with the swelling (ankles were worse over the weekend, better today), and have not had any major problems outside of the new addition of nausea, which honestly bothers me more because it reminds me of all-those-weeks-I-was-so-sick and I really do not want to relive that.  The internet and my midwife both tell me the nausea could be a sign of heading into labor, but it also seems it could just as much mean a few more weeks.  Other pregnancy signs include continued movement and kicking, hiccups (for the past two days right at dinner time which has made eating interesting), and occasional difficulty breathing (particularly when I’m talking a lot at work).  At times it feels like the baby is stretching her whole body inside of mine, which is strange and uncomfortable, but also really cool.

While we’re looking at signs, labor signs include… pretty much nothing, unless you believe the nausea means something. I’ve had very minor cramping and lots of BH contractions that I only notice if my hands are on my stomach.  Some minor backaches, but I think that has been from continuing to work and move.  And that’s it. Nothing too exciting happening here.

(Can I be honest though that I have this fantasy – and it is TRULY a fantasy, I think – that I will have a low-pain, close-to-pain-free labor and that I will just wake up one morning ready to gently bring the baby into the world?  I worry that I am setting myself up, even though I very much realize exactly how unlikely that is).

In other fun news, baby’s room is pretty much DONE!  Crib is assembled, bedding is washed and on the mattress, closet doors are hung properly, closet system is installed, rocker is in the room, and bookshelf is set up with books and toys that won’t be used for years.  The bassinet is cleaned and ready to go and lots of clothes have also been washed.  We still have to wash some of our diapers, but are otherwise set to go!  Carseat bases are also installed and the carseat is sitting in our living room – I guess we’ll decide which car we’ll take when I actually go into labor. While we’ve had some items, like a playpen, for months, it is the presence of the carseat and the crib – things that PARENTS and not just godparents, grandparents, or doting aunts have – that make me both giddy and terrified.   Meanwhile, I love sitting in the finished nursery.  I love the wall colors and the closet that we built and the bedding and the chair.  I love imagining the time the baby will hopefully have there.  And I am very proud of the work that went into making the dream of pregnancy and hopefully healthy baby a reality.

The only other main thing that’s happening is that I’m getting lots of surprised looks, questions, and words spoken to me at work about “you’re still here?!’ and “you look like you could go any day!” and so on and so forth.  I feel very lucky to have these conversations and I anticipated many of them based on the reports of others, so they don’t bother me (I also like attention and talking about myself and the baby, so why would I be bothered?).  I do admit that I have some rotating stock answers to the routine questions about due date and sex and names.  In addition to the questions, I notice that people no longer expect me to do common courtesy things like, I don’t know, HOLD A DOOR.  I’ve held a door for two different people today and they both rushed to the door and said “I’ve got it.”  I wish I had that star treatment back when I was throwing up every day.  That’s when I needed a door (or twenty) held.

So yeah, that is where life is right now.  Patiently waiting, hoping for a healthy labor / delivery / baby, and enjoying the time we have left by going out to too many dinners, watching movies, and taking in the fact that our lives will be forever changed in a matter of (hours? days? weeks?!)


37 Weeks!!!

… full term, baby!

And still liking pregnancy.  Signs this week include lots of pressure down low, intermittent contractions (especially yesterday and today, which we a little more than just BH contractions), intermittent swelling (my one ankle is HUGE today  but didn’t start out that way), some hormonal reactions (teary at something C said about the Cub’s potential name).

Fun this week included almost finishing the Cub’s closet, getting carpeting for the nursery (yes, carpeting is evil, no there was not time or money to do something else and something needed to be done), getting the car seat, setting up delivery for the crib, purchasing cloth diapers (we are gonna try it!), signing our daycare contract, and continuing to debate names. I can’t say that I feel completely ready for the Cub to show up,  but we’re definitely getting closer and I feel better each day.

Today we saw the midwife and found out I am GBS negative – which is the first screen / test I’ve had done that has come out “right” the first time, without need for additional intervention or testing.  I’m excited because it means I can labor longer at home even if my water does happen to break.  Baby seems to be head down and is measuring just about on time. C and I looked at each other today and I think REALLY realized that this coming and coming fast – and we were both excited. We are both just about done with work and ready for this “vacation” of birthing and parenting a child to begin, though I think we vacillate between “ready” and “ready to implode from nervousness.”

Other news from today is that I had a surprise baby shower at work – a jungle theme (which goes with our room decor) and super generous gifts from my coworkers.  It was very nice to have the celebration (and if I’m being honest, a little bit bittersweet because it marks the end of showers, which I completely love!).  We had delicious food and my boss went out of her way to invite C, who could not make it (sadly) due to work obligations.  It was very fun and made it VERY hard to go back to work for the rest of the day, especially after the early midwife appointment which took up a piece of my day.

Otherwise at work I feel like I”m preparing for an unpreparable (what a word!) vacation.  I’m excited and checking out like it’s vacation time, but I also am anxious and preparing and also not able to check too much out because I could realistically be around for five more weeks.   It’s a weird place to be and I hope I can stay about as comfortable as I am these days (which is admittedly, not super comfy).  I managed to fall yesterday during an emergency drill, fortunately landing on my hands and knees. The person who was with me was scared to death I think, but I had no pain or warning signs so I was pretty okay at first… until I thought better of it and called the midwives.  They had the same response I did and the Cub was very cooperative in moving and kicking the rest of the day, so no worries in the end (but sheesh!).

Things to do this week include packing the hospital bag, trying to prepare the dog more than we have, setting up the crib (maybe?), cleaning the bassinet, and finishing thank you notes galore (many of which were done last week after our shower).  I am excited to move forward but still trying to savor this time with me and C and me and C and baby on the INSIDE.  The changes will be great and part of the whole process but I”m okay enjoying this time now.


Hope you all are doing well!

36 Weeks (and 2 days)

Whew! It was a busy week / weekend / holiday and there was no time to write (and get everything else done, anyway).

Pregnancy is chugging along nicely.  Signs this week included lots of random ankle swelling regardless of how much water I took in, the Cub moving around and getting frequent hiccups, and practically needing a crane to haul myself out of bed some nights.  You know, the usual end-of-pregnancy stuff.   I have also picked up a small case of what must be pregnancy brain – as in I locked myself out of my work computer because I could not remember the password I’ve used for months.  Well, I sort of remembered it.. just not the right variation. Might want to write that down somewhere before I go on maternity leave.

As I think I mentioned last week, I saw the midwife and they think the baby is head down. Woohoo!  My pelvis is where I feel all of my hiccups (at least internally, when I feel from the outside they could be anywhere).

Outside of C being out of town for a couple of days last week, we saw lots of family this weekend, both from out of town and locally.  We had our baby shower on Saturday and I was overwhelmed by the generosity of so many family and friends… and then more overwhelmed thinking how many things we still actually NEED for this baby (not just the want stuff).  I’m also excited because one of the activities at the shower was onesie and bib decoration, which means the Cub has added substantially to the initial wardrobe.  So fun!

We also finally took the hospital tour. And it was… drumroll.. a hospital!  A beautiful hospital with lots of great amenities, to be sure, but still a hospital. Which is what we signed up for, so I’m not totally surprised… I just was hoping for something more.  Like a bed that was wider than 3/4 of a twin size bed.  The worst part for me was when they demonstrated how WHAM! the end of the bed can be removed just in time for delivery!  And with a biohazard bucket attached to the bed underneath! (Okay they didn’t point out that feature, but it was there).  It was just incredibly medicalized and made me a little sad and nervous. But with no nearby birth centers and some hesitations about home birth, I think we are doing the best we can with our midwives and doula and hospital that is more natural birth friendly than many others in the area.

So things keep swimming along. I still enjoy my pregnancy and hope that I will enjoy it right up to the end, whenever that may be.  I am grateful for this time with C and our little family and grateful for this time with the Cub on the inside.  I am anxious about the emergence into the real world and the life changes ahead (which helps me be even MORE grateful for right now) but I am also excited for all the good that will hopefully come, even in a life changing way.

I also apologize for the increasingly poor writing and content.  My mind is 980808 places at once, making it hard to stay focused enough to write.


33 Weeks

Is it getting harder to get around? Yes. Is sleep more of commodity? Yes.  Am I ready to send an eviction notice? Not really.

Pregnancy signs this week (outside of my recent standing on any soapbox I can) are flattening feet, occasional swollen ankles, some back pain, and lots of great movement from the Cub.  My belly is rounder than ever and I get lots of happy glances and occasional “whoas!” from friends, coworkers, and strangers. I have also started getting more offers from people who want to get rid of all of their old baby clothing (and I’m not going to complain!)  Mood is a little more stable, and I owe a lot of that to C working REALLY VERY HARD around the house, which takes a ton of stress and anxiety off of me.

The Cub’s room is coming along and I am very excited to get it done.  I love looking at the sheer amount of stuff we’ve accumulated and thinking about how it will fit in the new room, what that space will feel like when all is said and done.

The idea that we will be having a baby is more real than ever and I am enjoying the anticipation of our first face-to-face meeting.  We learned at the ultrasound yesterday that the baby will have hair, which is the exact opposite of me when I was born. I think that news made everything even MORE real, even with the fact that we were staring at the ultrasound screen.

My overall feelings right now, if they aren’t obvious, are hope and anticipation.  I continue to focus on the here and now even as I plan for the future and to try to fully enjoy the wonder of being me, pregnant, today.  Time is flying so fast, I can’t imagine how much more quickly it will fly once the Cub arrives.